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Posts Tagged ‘age’

–North Indian–

1. At the time of marriage, a north Indian girl has more boyfriends than her age.

2. Before marriage, she looks almost like a bollywood heroine and after marriage you have to go around her twice to completely hug her.

3. By the time she professes her undevoted love to you, you are bankrupt because of the number of times you had to take her out to movie theatres and restaurants. And you wait longingly for her dowry.

4. The only dishes she can think of to cook is paneer butter masala, aloo sabji, aloo gobi sabji, aloo matar, aloo paneer, that after eating all those paneer and aloos you are either in the bed with chronic cholestrol or chronic gas disorder.

5. The only growth that you see later in your career is the rise in your monthly phone bill.

6. You are blinded by her love that you think that she is a blonde. Only later do you come to know that it is because of the mehandhi that she applies to cover her gray hair.

7. When you come home from office she is very busy watching “Kyonki saas bi kabi bahu thi” that you either end up eating outside or cooking yourself.

8. You are a very “ESpecial” person to her.

9. She always thought that Madras is a state and covers the whole of south india until she met you.

10. When she says she is going to “work out” she means she is going to “walk out”

11. She has greater number of relatives than the number of people you have in your home town.

12. The only two sentences in English that she knows are “Thank you” and “How are you”

13. She thinks Govinda can dance better than Michael Jackson.

–South-Indian–

Her mother looks down at you because you didn’t study in IIT or Madras / Anna University .

Her father starts or ends every conversation with ” … I say…”

She shudders if you use four letter words.

She has long hair, neatly oiled and braided

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Question:What is the full form of maths.
Anwser : Mentaly affected teachers harrasing students

Teacher: Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE

Teacher :Because of Gandhiji’s hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday

Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma’m! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

Teacher:”Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence?”
Johnny:”Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.”

Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born.

Teacher:There is a frog,Ship is sinking,potatoes cost Rs 3/kg
.Then,what is my age?
STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?
STUDENT:Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says,
‘God, are you still in there?’

Teacher:”What is your name?”.
Student:”Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.”
Teacher:”When I ask aquestion in English,answer it in English.”
Student:”My name is Sunlight.”

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Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.

Q: How do you recognize Santa’s son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.

Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it!

Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!

Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long!

Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA” shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.

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Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Do you know where God is, son?”

The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God?!”

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is God?!”

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “what happened?”

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time.
(”I just LOVE reading next line again and again”)

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“GOD is missing, and they think we did it!”

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