- Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
- Ask people what gender they are.
- Practice making fax and modem noises.
- Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip…”
- If you have a glass, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
- Speak only in a “robot” voice.
- Blow your nose when some one is eating.
- Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will “eat away your food ” !
- Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
- Name your dog “Dog.”
- Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your “astronaut training.”
Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for “violating your airspace.”
- Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc:” them to your boss.
- Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
- Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a “spider person.”
- Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
- Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
- Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
- Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you “like it that way.”
- Drum on every available surface.
- Staple papers in the middle of the page.
- Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
- Set alarms for random times.
- Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
- ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
- only type in lowercase.
- dont use any punctuation either
- Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
- Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
- Stand over someone’s shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
- Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
- Chew on pens that you’ve borrowed.
- Wear a LOT of cologne.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
- Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”
- Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a “magic picture.”
- Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
- Never make eye contact.
- Make appointments for the 31st of September.
- Invite lots of people to other people’s parties.
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